Rules of the Road
HOW IT WORKS
Smut Slam DC is a storytelling open mic featuring real-life first-person sex stories. Each Slam has a theme– check the calendar listing to see what it is that month. Slammers sign up at the event to tell a 5-minute dirty story, based on their real life experiences. If there are more than 10 signups, a lucky 8 to 10 names will be drawn at random to tell their stories.
(This means that YOU are the show! It’s not pre-planned or curated– this is a true open mic. Not a Smut Slammer? You’re still welcome and you’re in for a great time! We just need everyone to know that this is an audience participation event.)
A panel of local celebrity judges awards each slammer points based on story arc (does it have a beginning, middle, and end?), storytelling presentation, commitment to the theme, sticking to the 5-minute limit, and “X factor” (that certain something they liked about it). Judging is all in good fun! Winners receive sexy prize packages from our sponsors that may include show tickets, gift cards, and sex toys.
And don’t forget the FUCKBUCKET! Our Bucket Babe will be circulating throughout the night to collect anonymous questions and confessions that the audience writes down, some of which your hosts will read in between stories.
Are you ready for the world’s sexiest open mic? Mark your calendar or check out other Smut Slam cities!
RULES FOR TELLERS
- No notes; this is storytelling.
- No costumes or props; this is not theatre.
- Only five minutes, with a one-minute grace period AND
- The story must be real and have happened to you.
- CONSENT IS KEY. These must be stories about consensual sex. If it’s not consensual, then it’s not sex. (Save it for a different story night, or your therapist.)
- This is not a “Kinkier Than Thou” competition; tellers don’t get bonus points for more people and/or equipment in the story. We welcome people with all types and amounts of sexual experiences to our space.
- You don’t always need to be the hero. Stories often are funny and/or “epic win,” but we want to encourage people to consider sharing their sad, disturbing, poignant, serious, simple and/or “fail” experiences, too.
- Smut Slam is queer-friendly, kink-friendly AND vanilla-friendly, fat-friendly, poly-friendly… we are very friendly.
- We don’t welcome stories involving racism, transphobia, homophobia, sexism, or any other discrimination, fetishization, or objectification. (We haven’t ever had to interrupt a story, but we have occasionally had a teaching moment from the mic afterward.)
RULES FOR LISTENERS
- No interrupting. Also, try to get your drinks or potty breaks between stories.
- No heckling.
- Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. If a story is about something that’s not your thing, remember that it’s their thing and squash the instinct to make faces or noises.
- Show the storytellers some love– it’s hard to get up and talk about really intimate moments, so reward them for being brave! Without them, we’d just be a room full of people drinking and getting bored.
- No necking in the front row.
- What happens at Smut Slam stays at Smut Slam; if it’s not your story, it’s not your story to tell. (Think of it as our own mini-Las Vegas!)